“coba coba katakan kepadaku bahwa kita sedang berjalan menuju satu alasan,
janganlah kau katakan bila kita memang tak ada tujuan, dari apa yang dijalankan”
“aku tak ingin terus terdiam memandangi harapan,
terlena akan manis cinta dan berujung kecewa,
aku tak ingin terus menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti,
lebih baik kita menangis dan terluka hari ini..”
“yang ku inginkan..
satu tujuan..
sebuah kenyataan..
bukan impian..
bukan harapan..
bukan alasan..
satu kepastian..”
Lately, I really feel connected with this song. I just simply feel that this song really represent my feeling. I even wrote those lyrics in my facebook status, which make some reactions from my mates that think that I seem very desperate, gloomy, and mourning. One of my closest mate, Tian, even consider me as a “drama queen” because of that status. Hmm..I’m not pretty much like it, even though, yes, sometimes I think that I’m qualified enough to entitled that “title”, hehe..
After 2 years having a rollercoaster-up and down-bittersweet relationship with someone, sometimes I feel that our relationship is going nowhere. Yes, we growing up together, welcoming the graduation together, holding hands to face the new status as fresh graduate that struggling in our new workplace, enjoying the happy and romantic moments together, and even facing a several fighting and break ups. But even so, we still can’t reach our final goal, which is married, because of a particular reason that I can’t mentioned here. I feel hurt, disappointed, and a bit frustrate because I don’t have the power to change the condition. I won’t blame anyone because of it. I just consider this as my destiny. It’s just the same as I have to accept the condition that I was born into this crazy world, even though I never ask for it. And the case is similar with that. I never ask and never want the condition turned out to be as complicated as this, but what can I say? This is my destiny, and I have to take it gracefully and adapt with it by tring to be a very patient person, which is not-so-me, actually.
I just wish that there’s a certainty in this relationship, as written in the lyric that I wrote above. I don’t want this relationship to be wasteful and end up tragically. I just hope that what we have built for the past 2 years will have a sweet ending. Just let’s cross our fingers together and pray for me, for us. Amin.









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